July 9, 2018

Hello. So, if you have visited the site before, you’ll see that things have changed a bit since the last time you’ve visited. The reason why is because I am still trying to figure things out. In short: my life and how I want to run this site.

I am a recent graduate from Murray State University and life has been kind of hectic since then.

I have been on three major trips. There has been a major family emergency. And I have been going back and forth between homes. Adding onto this, I have so many things going on in my mind that I’m not sure which idea to follow. I don’t know what my job life will look like. I don’t know where I’m going to be living permanently. I don’t have a home parish, partially because I’ve been moving around all summer.

And I’ve talked to God about it.

I’ve told Him what I’m worried about and what’s going on in my life. I’ve even told Him to lead me where I need to go. But things are still hectic.

I don't know where he's leading me. ANdI'm not comfortable with this.

I’m the type of person that likes having a plan. I almost need a plan in order to thrive. In order to not be an anxious mess all the time. It’s just a part of my personality and how my brain works.

I know that God has my life planned out, but I still find it difficult to trust Him.

I’ve always needed to have a plan. I’ve been an independent woman for a long time. I’ve learned how to go about life on my own, while also knowing when to ask for help when I need it. But that doesn’t make it any easier to trust God.

How can I trust Him when I can’t see or hear Him like I can see or hear others?

This is something I’ve struggled with up until here recently. And I think I still struggle with it. All I can do is remember that when I talk to God, He hears me. And I need to trust this fact. He hears me and has my back.

But that’s another thing I need to work on: trust.

For the majority of my life, I didn’t have a good relationship with God. I didn’t pray on a daily basis. I only went to Mass on Sundays and when school provided Mass. And Confession was an occurrence which was few and far between. But once I got to college, that began to change.

Moral of the story: while I’ve come a long way, I still have a long way to go.

And the road is going to be bumpy along the way.

-V. Hosman

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