Chivalry Isn’t Dead

Hello!

In yesterday’s post, I discussed how men and women’s roles are different. And I discussed exactly how different they are depending on which vocation they’re in.

But I think it goes deeper than that.

I think that, within reason, there are certain codes for how men and women are to act as gentlemen and ladies respectively. These codes aren’t necessarily spoken, but it is understood that if these codes are broken, you’re not doing it right.

Alright. But what exactly are these codes?

Why don’t we begin with the gentlemen.

A true gentleman proves that chivalry is not dead.
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I said in yesterday’s post that men have a primary role of protecting, but also being gentle and caring. And they don’t necessarily have to be physically protective. They can be mentally and emotionally protective, as well as protecting the dignity of others. And how they choose to protect the dignity of others proves that chivalry is still alive.

But how do they go about doing that?

For the sake of this example, let’s focus on men who are in a relationship with their girlfriend or wife. And I know that there are men who do not fit into this category, but for the sake of this example, I’m going to use this narrow category.

How I suggest married/dating men being true, chivalrous gentlemen (in no particular order):

  • Respect them and their wishes.
  • Truly listen to those who are important to you: your wife/girlfriend, your kids, your family members.
  • Make sure the people you care about and love are taken care of.
  • Walk/drive them home, especially if it’s after dark or if they’re intoxicated.
  • Make sure they get home safely.
  • Make sure they have plenty of gas/diesel in their vehicle.
  • Make sure they have/have had plenty to eat.
  • Be willing to go the extra mile if needed.
  • Lend a helping hand.
  • Offer them your jacket if they’re cold (verbalized or not).
  • Go get the car and pull it up to the curb if it’s raining (or even if it’s cold or windy).
  • Open doors for them (car doors or building doors).
  • Change their tires.
  • Do the heavy lifting.
  • And the list goes on.

This is by far not an extensive list. And not everyone wants all of these things done for them. Regardless of this is the case or not, I’d like to draw your attention to the first point of the list:

Respect others and their wishes.
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Don’t force any of these things onto anyone. Forcing something onto someone can be detrimental to your efforts of being a chivalrous gentleman.

And as I was reading back through these, not all of these are vocationally specific. Some of these can be applied across all three vocations.

What about the ladies?

As I said yesterday, women are typically the caretakers, gentle and nurturing. But they can also be protective.

But what can women do?

Ladies have a bit of a different code than the men do. This code is the same as the one I set forth for the men: women as wives/girlfriends/mothers. And just like the men, I realize there are many women who do not fall into this particular category.

  • Respect others and their wishes.
  • Truly listen to the person/people you’re speaking to.
  • Lend a hand when someone needs it (and if it’s someone that you love and care for, possibly do it without being asked).
  • Make sure they get home okay.
  • Make sure they have what they need.
  • Make sure they have/have had plenty to eat.
  • Walk/drive them home (especially after dark).
  • Be willing to go the extra mile, if need be.
  • Ensure your own, and those under your care’s, dignity via how you dress.
  • And the list goes on.

Like I said with the men, some of these things are applicable across vocations. And like the men, don’t force anything on them. Forcing things on people can make them frustrated with you and may make them not want to be around you.

But some of the things are the same for both men and women. Why?

I think there’s a simple answer to this:

We should help each other. No matter our gender or station in life.
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I do think that we are our brothers’ keepers. If we’re not going to look out for each other, then who will?

The men have a longer, more specific list. Why?

Most of this is on me: I could personally think of more specific things for the men than I could for the women. Part of the reason this may be because of how I was raised: the men take care of the women and women take care of the family.

Also, I have the mindset that men need to have the mentality of doing what women MIGHT not be able to or want to do. What I mean is like: changing tires, weed eating/mowing, heavy lifting, etc. I don’t mean that women can’t do this, because I think that we women should know how to do these things if we ever needed to. But I think that, out of respect, men should do these things for women.

So, what should I get out of this?

Men and women both should recognize and respect the dignity of every human being. And we should all respect others if only because they have dignity as a human being and that they are valued by God.

So, until I talk with you next, I hope things go well for you.

And if you have anything to add to the lists, or commentary on the material as a whole, please leave a comment below.

-Victoria

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