I’m going to be real with you guys in this post.
As you guys know, I have an anxiety disorder. And the way that I like to explain it is this: anything and everything has the chance of causing my stress/anxiety to skyrocket, sometimes for no apparent reason.
And over the course of having this disorder, I’ve noticed that I want to have control over things. I want to know what’s going to happen. I want to know that things are going to happen the way I want them to.
God doesn’t work on the same timeline as we do. And I am, by far, no exception to this.
Yes, sometimes God answers our prayers fairly quickly and in a way that we want. But, God doesn’t always work in this way. He often doesn’t answer prayers, hopes, or wishes immediately. He takes His time, knowing that there’s a better time for things than when we want them to show up.
This goes against my desire for control. And there are a few reasons for this. I struggle sometimes in trusting people that I see and I know when it comes to a plan I’m not sure about or is causing me anxiety. But, trusting people that I can see and that I know is easier for me than trusting a God that I cannot see and that communicates in ways that I’m not used to.
So when it comes to trusting God to take care of things, I know that it’s something that is expected of me. It’s something that I feel like I should be doing. But my anxiety keeps me from doing that.
But this Lent, I added something to my daily routine that I hope will help me begin the journey to trusting God more. Something that will help me get to know Him better. And I plan on continuing this even after Lent is over.
Do you struggle with something similar to this? Let me know in the comments below!