Depending on how long I’ve known you, there’s a certain amount about my life that you may or may not know. Some of you know this while others may not: my parents separated and got divorced at the beginning of my junior year of high school.
It was a difficult thing for me to get through and I’m sure that it was hard for them as well.
But looking back at it, there are some things that I’ve learned since then.
- It’s okay to feel hurt. I’d be worried if this kind of situation didn’t cause hurt. I had spent the first 16 years of my life with both of my parents married and in the same house. But things were drastically changing and I was heartbroken. But it was a heartbreak that was (I believe) earned. My world was being ripped apart. It was being turned upside down.
Forgiveness will come in time. In the hurt that I felt, I don’t know how long it took me to move forward and forgive my parents. I might’ve felt wronged. I’d understand if I did. But forgiveness did show up. Eventually. I began to understand that my parents had their reasons for their divorce. And I had to mature and know that what other people do is out of my control. And I learned that it’s okay to forgive and love both of them.
- Life will move on. Like I said, in my parents’ divorce, my world had been turned upside down. And it (understandably) would take a while for me to get used to life without both of them in the house. But I did get used to it. I got used to driving between their residences. I got used to spending time with one of them at a time instead of both of them at the same time. And they both were eventually able to move on with their lives, so I was able to move on with mine.
- Explanations will have to be given. Any time I meet anyone new, there’s a chance that I’ll have to explain in some way that my parents are divorced. And in doing so, I’d have to get used to anyone whose response is along the lines of “Oh, okay.” Over the years, I’ve gotten over feeling awkward about it. I’ve accepted it as a part of life and I simply roll with it now. Mostly.
- God hasn’t abandoned me. I don’t know if this ever crossed my mind, but it is something that other people who go through the same situation I did may feel. Just because something like this happens and just because we’re (potentially) heartbroken, that doesn’t mean that God has left us to fend for ourselves. He’s still there and He still loves and cares for us as much as He ever did.
My experiences don’t reflect the experiences of all of those people whose parents divorced. So I can’t speak for everyone’s experience. And I haven’t ever been married and divorced, so I don’t know that side of the situation either.
But I hope that someone out there who’s going through a situation like this will be able to gain something from this. That there’s some form of hope for them in these words.
And if you have any words of experience or advice on this subject, please leave them in the comments below. Thank you.