A couple of weeks ago, I put up a post where I showed you guys a part of myself that I don’t show all that often. A part of me that hurts and works against me.
And that’s my anxiety.
And I fortunately have people in my life that fit into one of two categories. The first is they know exactly what I’m going through. And the second is that they are willing to love me and be there for me when I need them, even though they may not personally understand what I’m going through.
But the thing with my particular experience with anxiety is that I can feel completely alone and hopeless even though there are people in my life who I can lean on. I can feel like there’s no way out and that I’m drowning in what my brain is trying to make me believe.
But last night in prayer, God reminded me of something that I want to share with you guys. And it’s something that is good for me to remind myself.
In Luke 22:44, we’re told that Jesus was in such an agony while praying in Gethsemane that He started sweating blood.
My personal interpretation of this while in prayer yesterday was that Jesus was so anxious about what He was going through that His body did something incredibly out of the ordinary. I obviously don’t know precisely what Jesus was feeling that caused His body to sweat blood, but I’d think it had to be pretty intense for that to happen.
Maybe He knew there was no other way and His human instincts were kicking in to try to save Him. Maybe He felt hopeless and alone. Maybe He felt abandoned by God and His friends.
The reason I bring this up with you guys is because of what it could provide if I remind myself of it more.
I am lucky enough to have physical people here on earth that I can talk to without fearing being judged. But knowing that Jesus Himself knows what exactly I’m going through can bring comfort.
As Catholics, we believe that God is a personal god. And this is made evident through this reminder of Jesus’s sufferings.
Even though I probably won’t always remember this information about Jesus’s suffering, it is good to have it in my arsenal of things I can remind myself of when I need it.
I don’t know what you guys are going through or dealing with. And I don’t know how you guys relate to Jesus (or God in general). But I hope that, if nothing else, you gained from this post a knowledge that there is someone in the world who understands precisely what you’re going through. Find that physical person you can go to when your anxiety, your mind, or your life are fighting against you. And if you choose, remember that Jesus knows the pain anxiety brings for He’s been through it. And He’ll go through it again with us again as well.
Until next time.