Note: My life is pretty great. This post is just a way for me to process things and let you guys know about some of the things going through my mind. Thank you for your understanding.
As of late, there have been a couple of predominant thoughts crossing my mind. On one hand, my life now seems to be what I had hoped it would be for months. But on the other hand, I’m still thinking about what’s next. What goal am I going to chase now?
And there have been quite a few different ideas of what I could do. There are a few different ideas for dreams I could chase. One idea is to keep working and blogging on this site. Another possibility is to become a #bookstagram influencer. Yet another option is to eventually become an author. And there may even be some ideas out there that I haven’t even considered yet.
But something that has had me concerned is how I’m reacting to this. Even though my life seems outwardly perfect, thoughts of the future seem to cloud my mind. They keep me from enjoying the moment. And the way my brain has been working lately, I sometimes can’t concentrate on something for very long or formulate a plan for the long run.
And this poses a problem because parts of me want to chase the different ideas that I listed above. But I’m also impatient and want things to happen fairly soon and when I want them to happen.
Things seemed so clear last year when I started the blog. I had goals and dreams for the site. I had motivation, and great doses of it. I would put in time and effort into the site.
But at times, that motivation would disappear. That dream would blur. I’d do things for and on the blog just because it was something on my to-do list or something I felt like I should be doing.
And over the past year, there have been anxious thoughts about this. Like, am I doing enough? Am I doing the right thing for the blog? Am I enough? Are my posts good? Does the train of thought in my posts make sense?
Basically, I’ve been worrying about if the site is what I need to be doing. And that’s why I’ve been introducing different options for what I could possibly do.
Even though I get these worrying thoughts, there are moments where I think God points me back to the blog. There are moments where I’d like to think He’s telling me that I’m on the right track. And these moments could be encountering people in my everyday life or having a sponsored post on the site.
I plan on continuing with the site. I may change the content of the blog some. I may take a break from it for a while. Who knows. But I do plan on staying with it.
I have to remember that I have time now to figure things out. Even though I do tend to get impatient. And I have to remind myself that things will take time, no matter what course I end up choosing.
Until next time!