And welcome to autumn!
I know here recently, I’ve been kind of deviating from what I normally post about. But I figured, a journey consists of so many things. So I figured I might expand what I post about. And the name of the site will remain the same since being a nerd and a Roman Catholic are two essential parts of my identity/personality.
But speaking of journeys, I wanted to talk about where I was this time last year.
This time last year, I was a girl with a dream. I was a girl that wanted things to work a certain way. But they weren’t going exactly as fast or in the direction I wanted it to. And I was a girl who wanted so badly to fulfill the expectations I believed my family and the world had for me. In fact, I actually had some expectations for myself that weren’t being fulfilled. But I was trying.
And over the past year, I’ve grown so much as a person. I’ve gone places that I’d love to return to. I’ve made memories with people I love that I’d like to remember forever. And even some that I’d rather forget. And I’ve learned that things don’t always work how or when I’d like them to. And I’ve learned to be more okay with that.
I’ve had moments that I wished could last forever. Moments where I felt on top of the world. But I’ve had moments where I just wanted everything to end. Moments where I could see nothing but darkness.
I’ve had moments where I felt loved and I felt like I belonged. But I’ve also had moments where I felt utterly alone.
And I’ve had moments anywhere and everywhere in between.
I’ve had moments where my chronic illnesses haven’t stopped me from living life to the fullest. But there have been days and weeks where they knocked me down to the point I didn’t think I could get back up.
But in the past year, all of these things have helped me to grow as a human being.
I’ve learned that it’s okay to take my time with things. I’ve learned that I’m the one responsible for my happiness. And I’ve learned that happiness can be found even in dark times.
I’m becoming more comfortable with who I am and where my life is at the moment.
The journey isn’t over yet. It won’t end until I meet Jesus on the other side. But, I think I’ve come a long way since last year.
I’ve learned so many lessons. And as cheesy as it sounds, I do think things have happened for a reason. I may not know all of the reasons yet, but I think they are there.
So if you’re going through a time of darkness or transformation, please know that you’re not alone. There’s at least one person in the world who can somewhat understand what you’re going through.
Until next time!