So a few years ago, my parents got divorced. And of course, there are certain lessons that have to be learned with this kind of situation. But I figured that I’d tell you guys different ways that a divorce can affect the children involved.
- They wonder if they did something wrong. They wonder if they’re the reason their parents are getting divorced. They wonder if one or more of their actions or words tipped their parents over the edge. They wonder if they did something that would make their parents to not love them as much. They wonder if there was something they could’ve done to change the way things ended up.
- They wonder why this is happening. If they don’t put the blame on themselves or if their parents have dispelled that worry, they may begin to think about why things have turned out the way they have. Did their parents get into a fight? Was one of their parents no longer faithful to the other? Their minds can begin going into overdrive over the different possibilities as to why things are the way they are.
- They wonder if they’re legitimate. Within the Catholic Church, there’s a chance for divorced couples to get their marriage annulled. Which means that the marriage was not legitimate. If this is the course the parents decide to go down, the children may think that they’re not legit since the marriage wasn’t legit. And this could cause some major conflict and self-image issues.
- They may lose faith in love and the concept of marriage. The main marriage and love story they were shown growing up didn’t work out. So they may begin to ask themselves if love is worth it. If love is worth putting the effort into if their parents’ love story didn’t work out. They may begin to think that there’s no point in putting in the effort, time, and feelings if it isn’t going to work out in the end.
- They have to relearn how to do things. They have to learn that their parents will no longer be living in the same house. They have to learn to go back and forth (if both parents want to continue being a part of their life). Or they might have to learn to not have one of their parents in their life at all. And they’ll have to learn what subjects can and cannot be discussed with either parent. And they’re going to have to relearn the dynamic with other people, like other family members, friends, and if applicable, schoolmates.
There are probably other ways divorce can affect the children of the marriage, but I think these are pretty important ones.
Until next time.